Prabhupāda Teaches His Disciples to Respect Their Parents and Choose Kṛṣṇa
The dynamics between newly initiated devotees and their families often presented complex social challenges. A delicate balance between social duty and absolute spiritual surrender was masterfully navigated by Śrīla Prabhupāda. He taught his disciples that while they must always treat their parents with proper respect according to Vedic custom, they must never compromise their spiritual principles. He emphasized that dedicating one's life to Kṛṣṇa is actually the greatest service a child can render, as it guarantees the ultimate salvation of their entire family.
The Highest Service to Parents
In material society, a good child is typically one who earns a massive salary to support their family. A profound truth regarding actual family duty was revealed by Śrīla Prabhupāda, who explained that becoming a pure devotee is the greatest possible benefit a child can bestow upon their parents. He taught that by dedicating their lives to Kṛṣṇa and stopping the cycle of birth and death, his disciples were actively securing spiritual salvation for their mothers and fathers.
- A boy who is in Krsna consciousness, he is giving the best service to his parents, families, countrymen, society. Without being Krsna conscious, what service they are giving to their parents? Mostly they are separated.
- All the mothers of my disciples, they will get salvation because she has got nice son like.
- Our married couples are rendering the greatest service to humanity, their countrymen, and to their parents, of that kindly be assured by me.
- Through your influence your family is gradually taking to this sublime process of Krsna consciousness. This is the proof of how the presence of one devotee will have an uplifting effect upon all of the people he comes in contact, whether family members or acquaintances.
- You have given this chance to your beloved son to be saved from the repetition of birth and death, and your good example must be followed by all mothers in America.
Dealing with Opposition from Parents
Because the principles of pure devotional service demand the strict rejection of mundane sense gratification, many materialistic guardians become deeply disturbed. Severe opposition was frequently acknowledged by Śrīla Prabhupāda, who noted that the society's strict moral standards often led to intense counterpropaganda from parents. Believing that their children's lives were being ruined by the abandonment of meat-eating, intoxication, and illicit sex, these parents often turned into staunch enemies of the movement.
- Aside from the parents of our students, many businessmen are also dissatisfied because we teach our students to abandon intoxication, meat-eating, illicit sex and gambling.
- Our students' parents, they are also thinking, "What is this nonsense, no meat-eating, no illicit sex? The enjoyment of life, everything is spoiled. They are becoming sannyasi." So they are cursing me.
- We are trying to bring as many young men as possible to the Krsna consciousness movement for their ultimate benefit, but the parents of the young men joining this movement, being very sorry, are lamenting and making counterpropaganda.
- The Krsna consciousness movement is teaching this higher knowledge of retiring from materialistic life to return to Godhead, but unfortunately many parents are not very satisfied with this movement.
- The general policy is to stop our Movement. That has begun, in so many ways; by the parents, by the municipality, by the government, by zoning; somehow or other to check this Movement.
Respecting but Rejecting Ungodly Instructions
A perfect Vaiṣṇava naturally exhibits exemplary behavior and etiquette. The necessity of treating one's parents with proper social respect was always emphasized by Śrīla Prabhupāda. However, he drew a firm line, instructing his disciples that they must never accept ungodly advice or succumb to materialistic demands. He advised them to remain silently steadfast in their vows, peacefully avoiding unnecessary arguments while simultaneously refusing to abandon their Kṛṣṇa consciousness.
- As father and mother they should be offered proper respect according to social custom, but you cannot accept their non-Godly instructions. Best thing is, to avoid misunderstanding, to remain silent without any affirmation or negation of their instructions.
- Even father will be enemy, what to speak of others. If you become Krsna conscious, the whole world will be your enemy. You must be prepared for that. So therefore you require tapasya. Tapasya means voluntarily agree to suffer.
- In my opinion, because you wanted permission of your parents, you should wait at least for such time when your parents will permit you. But if you are strongly desirous, then you can disregard your father's desire and make advancement in Krsna consciousness.
- Your father also said like that (You leave Krsna consciousness and I will give you a car and women). Here father will feel shame to advise the son, or the son will feel shame to talk about sex with father or mother.
- I do not know why Gopala Krsna's father is so much upset. I have received one letter from Gopala Krsna in which he writes "I don't think my parents will have any objections now because I have assured them in telegrams and letter that I am not going to abandon them."
Choosing Kṛṣṇa Over Material Relations
When faced with an ultimatum between family attachments and spiritual life, a devotee must possess the transcendental intelligence to make the absolute choice. A profound perspective was delivered by Śrīla Prabhupāda, reminding his disciples that mothers and fathers are available in any species of life, whether human or animal. Therefore, the extremely rare opportunity of the human form must be used exclusively to pursue the Supreme Father, Kṛṣṇa.
- Krsna is more important than the parents. So do not miss the opportunity of your present human form of body. Try to understand Krsna, and make your life successful.
- You have mentioned about your dilemma between Krsna and your parents, and in this connection I may inform you that parents are available in any kind of birth. Either you take your birth as a human being or as an animal, there is a set of parents.
- Now that you have come to Krishna Consciousness, your spiritual life, the real life, has begun. First birth is from your parents but real birth, real life, begins when one accepts a bona fide spiritual master and renders service onto him.
- I take it for granted that you are one of the selected devotees of Lord Caitanya, and therefore from within your heart He has inspired you to go to such a distant place, leaving your parents and home, just to satisfy Krsna.
- At the time of death the mother asked the son (one of my students, Karttikeya), "Where is your Krsna? He is here? And she immediately, she died. That means at the time of death she remembered Krsna, and immediately she was delivered.
Engaging Favorable Parents
When parents exhibit a favorable or curious attitude toward the movement, they should be warmly encouraged to participate. A very inclusive approach was taken by Śrīla Prabhupāda, who expertly engaged the parents of his disciples in devotional service. He happily accepted their donations, encouraged them to sew items for the deities, and invited them to study the philosophy, assuring them that they would receive immense spiritual benefit from these activities.
- If the parents of our devotees study the philosophy of Krishna consciousness there is no doubt they will benefit equally as their children are now doing.
- Your parents are willing to make a weekly contribution to Krishna Consciousness, and your mother can make bead bags and shirts for the devotees. This is very nice engagement for your parents, and you should encourage them to come to kirtana.
- If you can request your father to supply us with Maharastrian mrdangas and kanjanis, that will be very nice. I wish to import them from Bombay so if your father or anybody else can arrange to supply us these things, it will be a great service to the society.
- I have received your kind offering of guava jam through your daughter, Urvasi devi dasi. I wanted to thank you very much for becoming so much interested in our Krishna Consciousness movement.
- We have support from very high circle. Scholar, priest, even father, mother, parent. Many old gentlemen come to congratulate me, "Swamiji, it is our great fortune that you have come to this country."
Educating Parents and the Public
To combat the massive misunderstandings generated by the press and anti-cult groups, an organized effort to educate the public was required. A strategic approach to fighting deprogrammers was encouraged by Śrīla Prabhupāda, who advised his followers to collect favorable letters from supportive parents. He emphasized that true education does not mean securing a mundane degree, but rather becoming a spotless devotee of the Lord, pointing out that his disciples were intelligent youths from respectable families, not foolish runaways.
- Modern education is teaching lowest of the mankind. And if some of the students are taught to become highest of the mankind, their guardians become disturbed: "Oh, my son is going to be highest of the mankind? Swamiji, you are playing dangerous things."
- Your parents desire that you become educated also, although they do now know that someone who is a devotee is best educated.
- When you return to India there are so many ways you can convince your parents that to take to Krishna Consciousness does not mean one has to give up his worldly affairs.
- Your emphasis to fight the deprogrammers by a program of education of parents is very good. You can send favorable letters by parents to other parents.
- These European and American boys who are with me, there are hundreds and thousands of them sacrificed their life. They are not coming of foolish parents or foolish nation. Unless there is some profit, how they are doing? There must be some profit.
Voluntarism and Custody Issues
The Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement is based entirely on voluntary surrender to the Supreme Lord. A strict legal and moral policy regarding custody was maintained by Śrīla Prabhupāda, who frequently instructed underage devotees or young unmarried girls to return to the protection of their parents until they were legally independent. He made it abundantly clear that the society had no business kidnapping anyone, forcing members to stay, or fighting endless court battles over family custody.
- If the father is victorious in the courts then what can we do? Our business is not to kidnap. People must come voluntarily. It is always voluntary.
- We have no business to keep young girls from their parents. We do not force anyone to go or to stay. It is all voluntary.
- If you take away the girl, I have no objection. They come and go, but if the parents take her away, I have no objection.
- For the time being, stay with your parents until you are of proper age to be independent. Raghunatha dasa Goswami was also restricted by his parents, but ultimately he joined Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu's movement.
- Take my advice that women, girls, until married, must be under the guidance and protection of the father. That is Vedic civilization. Under the circumstances, I request you both to go back to your father immediately.
Conclusion
By perfectly synthesizing Vedic etiquette with unalloyed devotion, a profoundly mature standard for family relations was established by Śrīla Prabhupāda. He ensured that his disciples understood that while the physical body belongs to the parents and requires proper respect, the soul belongs eternally to Kṛṣṇa. Through his expert and compassionate guidance, he empowered an entire generation to navigate intense family opposition, engage favorable relatives, and ultimately prove that pure devotion is the highest form of love a child can offer.
Dive Deeper into Śrīla Prabhupāda's Vani
Śrīla Prabhupāda lives within his instructions. This article is a summary of the profound truths found in the Vaniquotes category Our Parents (Disciples of SP). We invite you to visit this link to study the complete compilation and experience Śrīla Prabhupāda's teachings in their direct, verbatim form.