Prabhupāda Teaches His Disciples the Purpose of Having a Wife
The gṛhastha āśrama (householder life) is a vital and respected institution within the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement. Śrīla Prabhupāda dispelled the misconception that marriage is an impediment to spiritual life. He taught his disciples that taking a wife is not for satisfying material lust, but for forming a powerful, cooperative partnership dedicated to serving the Supreme Lord. By clearly defining the mutual duties of husbands and wives, demanding financial responsibility, and strictly forbidding divorce, he established an ideal standard of family life that deeply benefits both the devotees and human society at large.
A Cooperative Spiritual Partnership
A Kṛṣṇa conscious marriage is designed for mutual spiritual elevation. Śrīla Prabhupāda explained that a devoted wife is never a burden; rather, she is a complete counterpart and best friend. When the husband and wife center their relationship entirely around pleasing Kṛṣṇa, they naturally assist one another in overcoming material obstacles, turning their home into a peaceful sanctuary for executing devotional service.
- Married life in Krishna Consciousness is the perfection of married life because the basic principle is that the wife will help the husband so that he may pursue Krishna Consciousness, and similarly the husband will help the wife to advance in Krsna consciousness.
- The husband will help the wife, the wife will help the husband advancing in Krsna consciousness for the benefit of their country, for the benefit of the total human society.
- In Krsna Consciousness the wife is never a burden, but she is completely a counterpart. So set example to your countrymen how younger generation can live peacefully, husband and wife, being engaged in Krsna's service.
- If the wife is helpful in the spiritual progress of life, she is the best friend and philosopher.
- I am very pleased that you are serving your husband nicely and helping him so that he may advance his Krishna Consciousness. When the husband advances, automatically the wife shares in his success so there is all around benefit.
The Responsible Alternative to Celibacy
Artificial renunciation is highly dangerous in spiritual life. If a disciple is unable to maintain the strict vows of a brahmacārī (celibate student), Śrīla Prabhupāda advised them to marry rather than become a hypocrite. By accepting a wife and taking full responsibility for a family, a devotee can pacify their mind, avoid illicit activities, and steadily progress on the path back to Godhead.
- A brahmacari is good for living a life of celibacy, but a person who can live a life of celibacy in the presence of a beautiful and obliging wife is more than a brahmacari.
- So don't become grhamedhis, simply having a wife and few children. That, cats and dogs they have also got. That is not required. You find inconvenience to live alone as brahmacari - all right, you take to a wife. Live with wife. Live responsibly.
- There is no harm in accepting a wife and living without any disturbance of the mind and thus sincerely advancing in Krishna Consciousness.
- If you decide to marry, there are many devotee girls, and one of them may be a very nice companion for your devotional life. You prefer to be free, but a devoted wife is as good as freedom.
- I did not ask my students to marry to become a lost child. I wanted to give them some facility, because you cannot do without wife. But now I am seeing that some of them are slipping away.
Mutual Duties and Protection
According to Vedic culture, the relationship between husband and wife is defined by clear, complementary duties. The husband is not a master for his own sense gratification; he is duty-bound to act as his wife's spiritual guide and protect her from the illusions of māyā. In return, the wife's duty is to serve her husband, see to his comforts, and submissively inquire from him about spiritual advancement.
- It is the duty of husband to protect wife in every way from the onslaught of material nature, and he must act always as her spiritual guide by being perfect example of devotee.
- The husband's duty is to give the wife all protection, even from the material maya, and the wife's duty is to see to the personal comforts of the husband.
- The wife is supposed to inquire from the husband about spiritual advancement of life, and the husband must be competent to reply all the questions of wife. That will keep relation very nice.
- As the husband of your wife, you should see that she is trained up nicely in Krishna consciousness.
- Whether your husband likes to take responsibility as your spiritual guide or not, that does not matter. He must do it. It is his duty because he has taken you as his wife. Therefore he must take full responsibility for you the rest of his life.
Double Strength for Preaching
Marriage is not a retirement from the mission; it is an expansion of it. Śrīla Prabhupāda took great pride in seeing his young married disciples traveling the world and opening centers. He encouraged husbands and wives to combine their talents, noting that a dedicated couple preaching together possesses "double strength" and sets a powerful, relatable example for the public to follow.
- Formally you were alone, now you are assisted by your good wife. Husband and wife equal double strength.
- Most of my disciples who are preaching are married couples. As such, I hope both you and your wife will continue to help me substantially in the Krishna Consciousness Movement, and Krishna will bless you more and more.
- Now you have got a nice wife, Indumati, and combinedly together you preach the mission of Lord Caitanya as far as possible.
- Your wife and you are good match, so take up this work of spreading Krsna consciousness very seriously and make your both lives sublime and Krsna will certainly give you all intelligence how to advance in His service.
- You young husband and wife are so nice that Krishna will shower His blessings upon you both incessantly. Please keep up the spirit of preaching work and you will be victorious wherever you go.
Maintaining Financial Independence
The temple is primarily a sanctuary for celibate monks (brahmacārīs and sannyāsīs). Śrīla Prabhupāda established strict rules that householders must be financially independent. A man who chooses to marry must get a job, earn an outside income, and maintain his wife and children without being a burden on the society's funds. Furthermore, a responsible gṛhastha should contribute fifty percent of his earnings back to the preaching mission.
- First of all, you are a family man, and usually at this point a man must think about providing for his wife and child. So if you like you can take a job.
- Henceforward I am not sanctioning any more marriages, and those who want to marry must know in advance and be prepared to make outside income to support wife and home separately from the temple, and in the temple husband and wife shall live separately.
- Get married outside the temple, take all risk for supporting wife and home, live outside the temple, like that. But they should live nearby and take part as much as possible in temple activities, such as mangala aratrik, sankirtana, etc.
- You may get yourself married, provided that you can meet the responsibility of grhastha life. If you marry you will have to work to provide for your wife and family and try to spend at least 50% for Krishna Consciousness.
- Your first duty now as a householder is to provide nicely for your wife and child.
Overcoming Difficulties and Avoiding Separation
Because two individuals possess different psychologies, disagreements in marriage are inevitable. However, in the Vedic system, modern concepts like divorce are nonexistent. Śrīla Prabhupāda instructed his married disciples to tolerate misunderstandings, avoid childish quarrels, and never abandon their partners. By remembering that their ultimate purpose is to serve Kṛṣṇa, couples can peacefully navigate any distress and remain firmly united in their spiritual duties.
- There is no question of divorce or separation. In any condition of life, happiness or distress, you shall continue as husband and wife, because our main business is Krsna consciousness.
- According to Vedic system, disagreement or quarrel between husband and wife should never be taken very seriously. The Vedic system therefore gives a concession for the wife to separate from her husband for some time and go to her father's house.
- It is very good news that your wife has taken to learn the Japanese language. So you should train your wife like that instead of fighting and creating misunderstanding. You must tolerate such misunderstandings.
- Your wife is a good devotee, that I know. But one thing, do not pick up any childish quarrels together, live peacefully and go on with your Krishna conscious business.
- You write that you are becoming very involved in Krsna Consciousness but your wife is not very interested and you want to know from me whether you should leave her. It is not necessary to leave your wife.
Conclusion
By redefining the purpose of marriage, Śrīla Prabhupāda elevated his disciples above the shallow, fleeting romances of the material world. He taught that taking a wife is a solemn vow to engage in cooperative spiritual service. When a husband and wife faithfully execute their respective duties, provide for their family responsibly, and preach together with unyielding determination, their gṛhastha life becomes completely sublime, rapidly propelling both souls back to the spiritual world.
Dive Deeper into Śrīla Prabhupāda's Vani
Śrīla Prabhupāda lives within his instructions. This article is a summary of the profound truths found in the Vaniquotes category Our Wives (Disciples of SP). We invite you to visit this link to study the complete compilation and experience Śrīla Prabhupāda's teachings in their direct, verbatim form.