Prabhupāda Guides His Disciples on Marriage and the Role of the Husband
In the material world, marriage is almost exclusively viewed as an arrangement for mutual sense gratification, but in the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement, it is a sacred partnership meant for spiritual emancipation. To protect his young disciples from the pitfalls of mundane family life, clearly defining the strict, interdependent duties of the gṛhastha-āśrama is the vital instruction Śrīla Prabhupāda imparts. He teaches that a husband must act as the ultimate spiritual guide and protector of his wife, while the wife must chastefully assist him in all respects, ensuring that their combined energy is directed solely toward returning to Godhead.
The Ultimate Husband is Kṛṣṇa
While the material body requires social protection, the soul's only true maintainer is the Supreme Lord. To ensure his female disciples never lose sight of their eternal spiritual identity, reminding them that Kṛṣṇa is their actual, everlasting husband is the beautiful philosophy Śrīla Prabhupāda teaches. He explains that even if a physical husband falls short or fails to follow the regulative principles, a sincere devotee must remain fully surrendered to the Lord, knowing He will provide perfect, infallible protection.
- Accept Krishna as your husband and He will never cheat you. He is competent to maintain any number of wife with full comforts because He is Omnipotent. So remain busy in the service of your Husband and you will be happy in this life as well as in the next.
- So far remembering me and Krishna, it should be simultaneous. I am your Spiritual Father, and Krishna is your Spiritual Husband. A girl can never forget either her father or her husband.
- If your husband cannot follow our principles properly, you are not to think that you should let that hamper your spiritual life. You should stay with us and cultivate spiritual life peacefully under Krishna's protection and care.
- By the Grace of Krishna you have a good husband, good association, good land, and good engagements. Similarly, you have got a very good atmosphere in Columbus. So be happy with all these, Krishna's gifts, and be advanced in Krishna Consciousness.
- You are fortunate. Go on in this present attitude, serve you husband always and in this way your life will be perfect, and together husband and wife go back home, Back to Godhead.
The Perfection of Married Life
A household dedicated to the Supreme Lord is non-different from a temple. Emphasizing that the foundation of a successful marriage is mutual spiritual support, describing the perfection of the gṛhastha-āśrama is how Śrīla Prabhupāda encourages his young couples. He points out that when a husband and wife chant together, organize their home around the Deities, and actively push each other to advance in Kṛṣṇa consciousness, all material anxieties naturally dissolve.
- Married life in Krishna Consciousness is the perfection of married life because the basic principle is that the wife will help the husband so that he may pursue Krishna Consciousness, and similarly the husband will help the wife to advance in Krsna consciounsess.
- The husband will help the wife, the wife will help the husband advancing in Krsna consciousness for the benefit of their country, for the benefit of the total human society.
- The best policy is to chant Hare Krishna all together husband, wife, and son at least a half hour daily. If your wife joins with you in chanting, then the whole problem will be solved.
- I am very pleased that you are serving your husband nicely and helping him so that he may advance his Krishna Consciousness. When the husband advances, automatically the wife shares in his success so there is all around benefit.
- I am glad that you are working very hard in assisting your good husband. So my idea of combining you as husband and wife is now fulfilled, and you both continue to render your important service to Krishna.
The Husband as the Spiritual Guide
To accept a woman in marriage means to accept total responsibility for her soul. Elevating the role of the husband far beyond that of a mere financial provider, establishing him as the instructing spiritual master of the home is the strict Vedic standard Śrīla Prabhupāda enforces. He mandates that a husband must be a spotless example of devotion, fully competent to answer his wife's philosophical inquiries and protect her from the illusions of māyā.
- It is the duty of husband to protect wife in every way from the onslaught of material nature, and he must act always as her spiritual guide by being perfect example of devotee.
- The husband's duty is to give the wife all protection, even from the material maya, and the wife's duty is to see to the personal comforts of the husband.
- Regarding your question about the husband becoming the Spiritual Master of the wife, anyone who can give instructing in spiritual life is treated as Spiritual Master. There are two kinds of Spiritual Master, initiator and instructor.
- The wife is supposed to inquire from the husband about spiritual advancement of life, and the husband must be competent to reply all the questions of wife. That will keep relation very nice.
- Whether your husband likes to take responsibility as your spiritual guide or not, that does not matter. He must do it. It is his duty because he has taken you as his wife. Therefore he must take full responsibility for you the rest of his life.
The Duties and Chastity of the Wife
The peacefulness of a household relies heavily on the submissive and cooperative spirit of the wife. To ensure domestic harmony, teaching his female disciples how to properly support their husbands is the practical guidance Śrīla Prabhupāda delivers. He instructs that a wife must view her husband as her provider and master, ensuring his personal comforts are met and refraining from unnecessarily disturbing his mind, so he can execute his duties smoothly.
- Vedic system advises women to become very chaste and accept the husband as master. Your husband is especially good because he is progressing in Krishna Consciousness.
- You say that, - I accept you (Rukmini repeating) as my husband, and I shall serve you as your most obedient wife, to keep you in all comforts, in all distress and happiness, and we shall continue our life for Krsna consciousness.
- Treat your wife as assistant, treat your husband as your provider.
- Wife's duty is not to disturb the husband. That is Vedic principle.
- Your foremost duty is to abide by the will of your husband. Your husband is not an ordinary boy-he is educated, intelligent, sober, and a devotee of Lord Krsna. Therefore, whatever he plans, you should follow.
Tolerating Disagreements and Avoiding Separation
When two individuals live together, friction is inevitable due to past habits and conditioning. Strictly rejecting the modern western trend of divorce, demanding that his disciples tolerate marital disagreements is the hard line Śrīla Prabhupāda draws for his society. He explains that fights between a husband and wife should be viewed as insignificant, and that couples must formally commit to remaining together through all happiness and distress to push the preaching movement forward.
- According to Vedic system, disagreement or quarrel between husband and wife should never be taken very seriously. The Vedic system therefore gives a concession for the wife to separate from her husband for some time and go to her father's house.
- Fighting between husband and wife is not to be taken very seriously. So if you have any respect for me, I request you not to quarrel with your husband. Live peacefully, chant Hare Krishna and try to serve the cause as best as possible.
- There is no question of divorce or separation. In any condition of life, happiness or distress, you shall continue as husband and wife, because our main business is Krsna consciousness.
- There should be a formal contract signed by both parties at each marriage, voting that there will be no separation and that man and wife will work cooperatively in Krishna Consciousness.
- All of you are coming from backgrounds of bad habits, so to make progress in Krishna Consciousness we must overlook the faults of others. You must be patient with your husband.
Dedication Over Artificial Renunciation
A society cannot function properly if its members are constantly shifting their vows or abandoning their dependents. To maintain stability, heavily discouraging artificial renunciation and repeated marriages is the mature policy Śrīla Prabhupāda enacts. He expresses his deep frustration with devotees who treat marriage lightly, insisting that individuals must fulfill their family obligations faithfully, and that the husband should only take sannyāsa when the proper time for renunciation has actually arrived.
- Marriage is not for sense gratification, not that we get married twice, thrice in a year. No, if you have got a child there is no need for more marriages. But if you cannot stay in Krishna Consciousness unless you have got a husband, that is all right.
- I am so much disgusted by this troublesome business of marriage, because nearly every day I receive some complaint from husband or wife, and practically this is not my business as sannyasi to be marriage counsellor.
- It is not advisable to marry again as this may disturb your former husband who is now engaged in preaching activities.
- I don't know who has given you this idea of shaving your head and wearing white garments. In India only the widows are allowed to shave head. I have never suggested your husband to take to Sannyas.
- In the Krsna consciousness movement there are many young couples engaged in the Lord's service. Eventually they are supposed to take vanaprastha, and after the vanaprastha stage the husband may take sannyasa in order to preach.
Conclusion
By redefining marriage as an act of dedicated spiritual service, protecting his disciples from the miseries of mundane attachment is the great mercy Śrīla Prabhupāda bestows upon his society. He proves that when a husband accepts his serious duty as a spiritual guide, and a wife cooperates with chaste devotion, the home ceases to be a place of material entanglement. Instead, it becomes a peaceful oasis where both partners can perfectly execute their ultimate goal of returning back to Godhead.
Dive Deeper into Śrīla Prabhupāda's Vani
Śrīla Prabhupāda lives within his instructions. This article is a summary of the profound truths found in the Vaniquotes category Our Husbands (Disciples of SP). We invite you to visit this link to study the complete compilation and experience Śrīla Prabhupāda's teachings in their direct, verbatim form.