Necessity of Controlling Sex Life
According to Śrīla Prabhupāda, the bedrock of spiritual advancement is the control of the senses, of which the sex drive is the most powerful. In the material world, the living entity is bound primarily by the desire for sex. Therefore, the Vedic system of varṇāśrama-dharma is designed to train human beings to restrain this impulse. Whether one is a renunciate or a householder, controlling sex life is not optional; it is the essential requirement for liberation and the development of higher intelligence.
Meaning of Brahmacarya
Śrīla Prabhupāda defines brahmacarya as the specific austerity of controlling the sex appetite. This practice is the foundation of all spiritual life. By restraining the sex drive, one gains the strength and equilibrium of mind necessary for meditation and self-realization. Without this control, the mind remains disturbed, and the living entity remains bound to the material concept of life.
- Brahmacarya means controlling sex life. That is required. If you can control sex impulse. . . Because that is the medium of bondage.
- Brahmacaryena means controlling the sex appetite. That is a brahmacari. Tapasa brahmacaryena samena ca damena ca. Samena means keeping the mind, equilibrium, without being disturbed. The process of meditation is meant for keeping the mind in equilibrium.
- Brahmacaryena means celibacy. The more you restrain your sex life, the more you become strong for spiritual life. Brahmacaryena. Brahma . . . brahmacarya means to restrain, control sex life.
- One has to undergo tapasya; brahmacarya, celibacy. Tapasya. Brahmacarya means stopping sex life or controlling sex life. Brahmacarya.
Standards for the Social Orders (Āśramas)
The Vedic social structure dictates that three out of the four spiritual orders—brahmacārī, vānaprastha, and sannyāsa—must completely abstain from sex life. Only the gṛhastha (householder) is permitted to engage in sex, and even then, it must be strictly controlled. Śrīla Prabhupāda emphasizes that a sannyāsī who cannot control his sex desires is a cheater, and a householder who acts without restriction is doomed.
- The whole Vedic civilization is: how to avoid sex life. Brahmacari - no sex life. Vanaprastha - no sex life. Sannyasi - no sex life. Only grhastha, under control. That is grhastha.
- A sannyasi means he has ceased all material desire. There is no material desire. And the concentrated material enjoyment is sex. So if one could not control his sex life, then how he is swami? He's cheater.
- First of all, a boy is trained as brahmacari, spiritual life. Then he is advised not to enter family life. But if he is unable to control his sex life, he is allowed, "All right. You get yourself married." Then he remains in family life.
- Sex is not prohibited, but illicit sex, that is controlled, that is controlled. If one is allowed to have unlimited, unrestricted sex, then he is doomed. Better restrict your sex in one. That means gradually it will be controlled.
Developing Brain Power (Ūrdhva-retāḥ)
Beyond spiritual morality, Śrīla Prabhupāda highlights the physiological benefits of celibacy. He explains the concept of ūrdhva-retāḥ—sending the seminal energy upward to nourish the brain. When sex life is controlled, memory becomes sharp, and determination becomes fixed. Conversely, indulgence leads to "flickering determination" and an inability to retain spiritual knowledge.
- The word urdhva-retasah is very significant. Urdhva-retah refers to one who can control sex life and who instead of wasting semen by discharging it, can use this most important substance accumulated in the body to enrich the brain.
- One who can completely control sex life is able to work wonderfully with his brain, especially in remembering. Thus students who simply hear Vedic instructions once from their teacher could remember them verbatim without needing to read books.
- In the beginning it was said that without sex life, the determination. Or controlled sex life. If you indulge in sex life, then this determination will not come. Flickering determination. You see? Therefore the sex life should be controlled or given up.
- By the gradual process of devotional service under the guidance of a proper spiritual master and following the principles of the Bhagavatam, one must be able at least to control the gross sex desire before one accepts the renounced order of life factually.
Yoga vs. "Rascaldom"
Śrīla Prabhupāda strongly criticizes the modern trend of practicing "yoga" while maintaining unrestricted sex life. He terms this "rascaldom," asserting that true yoga is meant for tapasya (austerity) and purification. One cannot act like a swine in terms of sense gratification and simultaneously claim to be a yogī. Real civilization is measured by the ability to restrain these lower propensities.
- A brahmacari practices celibacy, controlling his sex life. One cannot enjoy unrestricted sex life and practice yoga; this is rascaldom.
- One cannot enjoy sex life daily at home or elsewhere and attend a so-called yoga class and thus become a yogi. One has to practice controlling the mind and avoiding all kinds of sense gratification, of which sex life is the chief.
- Human civilization in which there is no control of sex life is a fourth-class civilization because in such an atmosphere there is no liberation of the soul encaged in the material body.
- Vedic civilization is different. Their aim is different. The whole scheme is controlling the senses, especially sex, because if we become too much addicted to sex life, then our life is spoiled. This is this.
Role of Devotional Service
While mechanical restraint is difficult, Śrīla Prabhupāda offers the positive alternative of bhakti-yoga. In Kṛṣṇa consciousness, even a householder can act as a brahmacārī because their engagement in superior service naturally diminishes the attraction for sex. By concentrating the mind on Kṛṣṇa, the drive for material enjoyment is subdued, making control a byproduct of spiritual satisfaction.
- In the bhakti school, a householder brahmacari is allowed controlled sex life because the cult of bhakti-yoga is so powerful that one automatically loses sexual attraction, being engaged in the superior service of the Lord.
- If anyone, even if he is a householder, wants to make progress in spiritual life, he must control his sex life and should not beget a child without the purpose of serving Krsna.
- It is recommended that a woman desiring to advance in Krsna consciousness live peacefully with a husband and that the couple not separate under any condition. The husband and wife should control sex indulgence and concentrate their minds on Krsna consciousness so their life may be successful.
- This is the purification process: austerity, penance, controlling sex life, controlling the mind, controlling the senses, giving in charity whatever you possess, everything regulated. This is one process. And the other process is this bhakti-yoga.
Conclusion
Śrīla Prabhupāda concludes that the human form of life is meant for austerity and purification, not for animalistic indulgence. Whether one remains single or marries, the principle remains the same: sex life must be controlled. By following the instructions of the Bhāgavatam and the spiritual master, one can overcome this formidable obstacle and achieve the success of life.
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Śrīla Prabhupāda lives within his instructions. This article is a summary of the profound truths found in the Vaniquotes category Controlling Sex Life. We invite you to visit this link to study the complete compilation and experience his teachings in their direct, verbatim form.