I Had - Prabhupāda's Journey of Faith, Sacrifice, and Success
By studying the statements where Śrīla Prabhupāda says "I had," we are given an intimate look into the history, struggles, and ultimate triumph of the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement. Śrīla Prabhupāda’s journey was not one of instant, comfortable success. He had to leave behind a successful life in India, cross the ocean in his old age, and face severe hardships in a foreign culture. He often reflected on the fact that he had almost no material assets when he arrived—no money, no followers, and no institutional support. Yet, he possessed the most powerful asset of all: absolute faith in the order of his spiritual master, Śrīla Bhaktisiddhānta Sarasvatī Ṭhārura. By examining what Śrīla Prabhupāda had, what he sacrificed, and how he relied entirely on Kṛṣṇa, we learn the true meaning of surrender and the miraculous results it produces.
Starting with Nothing but Faith
Śrīla Prabhupāda frequently reminded his disciples of his humble beginnings in the West. He arrived without financial backing, institutional support, or a network of contacts, relying entirely on his books and his unshakeable faith in his mission.
- I started this movement in 1967 in New York, in a small scale. I went there in 1965, and for one year I had no shelter, neither any means to maintain myself. I had some books only, Srimad-Bhagavatam, and some way or other, I pulled on.
- I had only forty rupees with me, and a return ticket in the Scindia Navigation Companies. So for two, three months, six months, there was no response. I was simply maintaining myself by selling my books.
- Four or five years ago, I came here, I had no student. I was loitering in the street. Nobody was caring for me. Now I have got hundreds and thousands of student. They are executing my order simply out of love.
- When I left my home for your country in 1965 alone, the government would not allow me to take any money. I had only a few book and forty rupees, Indian forty rupees.
The Supreme Value of His Guru’s Order
The driving force behind Śrīla Prabhupāda's immense endeavor was the instruction he had received from his spiritual master. This divine order was his true wealth, giving him the qualification and energy to preach globally in his old age.
- I came to your country in ripe old age, but I had one asset: enthusiasm and faith in my Spiritual Master.
- Just before His Divine Grace passed away at Jagannatha Puri, I wrote him a letter asking what I could do to serve him. In reply, he wrote me a letter ordering me to preach in English the cult of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu as I had heard it from him.
- My mission has come out a success by the mercy of my guru maharaj who sent me on this mission. That was my only qualification in coming to your country, that I had the blessings of my guru maharaj.
- Once we had the opportunity to meet Visnupada Sri Srimad Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati Gosvami Maharaja, and on first sight he requested this humble self to preach his message in the Western countries.
Sacrifice and Hardship for Preaching
To push forward the Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement, Śrīla Prabhupāda had to make extraordinary personal sacrifices. He left a potentially lucrative business, his family, and the spiritual comforts of Vṛndāvana, sometimes enduring living conditions that were deeply shocking to his strict Vedic standards.
- In my opinion, it is better to travel and preach than open business. I had a nice business, one of the best in India, and Krishna took it all away, and now I am very much thankful.
- I had to leave my own family and children because I was unable to tolerate seeing them remain servants of their senses. All the American children who are staying with me have shaved their heads, have mala and tilaka and always follow my orders.
- I did not go to your country taking Vrndavana with me. I had to stay in places where in the refrigerator there is meat. And I was cooking. When opened it I saw, "Here is meat. All right, what can be done? Hare Krsna." That's all.
- When I went to your country, actually sometimes I had to live in a hell according to our Indian standard, Vedic standard. So what can be done? Hell or heaven, I have to do my duty.
The Transformation through Cooperation
Śrīla Prabhupāda never took personal credit for the explosive growth of his society. He recognized that while he had the initial vision and his guru's order, it was the sincere cooperation of his young disciples that transformed his solitary struggle into a worldwide phenomenon.
- When I first came to your country I had no idea how much the American people would cooperate with my Krsna Consciousness .But now good boys like yourself and all my other spiritual sons and daughters all around the world have been giving me great hope.
- I had been feeling lonely although I had the mission of starting this Krishna Consciousness movement. So Krishna sent you to me, and therefore our meeting was also the desire of Krishna.
- For me to publish alone the first three volumes, I had to take so much trouble, but by the cooperation of you American boys and girls now this has become possible.
- When I came to your country first, I had no center. But who has provided all these hundred temples, big, big palaces, temples? To remain under the protection of Krsna you get so much facility. Why not be grateful to Krsna?
Conclusion
Śrīla Prabhupāda's reflections on what he had—and what he didn't have—serve as the ultimate lesson in spiritual reliance. He proved that massive bank balances, political influence, and worldly comfort are not required to change the course of history. What is truly required is pure, unalloyed faith in the instructions of the spiritual master and a willingness to undergo any sacrifice for the pleasure of Kṛṣṇa. Śrīla Prabhupāda had almost nothing from a material perspective when he arrived in the West, yet because he had the order of his guru firmly planted in his heart, he was able to give the entire world the greatest treasure of Kṛṣṇa consciousness. His life remains the perfect example of how Kṛṣṇa flawlessly maintains and empowers those who fully surrender unto Him.
Dive Deeper into Prabhupāda's Vani
Śrīla Prabhupāda lives within his instructions. This article is a summary of the profound truths found in the Vaniquotes category I Had (Prabhupada). We invite you to visit this link to study the complete compilation and experience Śrīla Prabhupāda's teachings in their direct, verbatim form.