A Devotee Shows Affection for a Wife Without Becoming Attached
Affection for a wife is natural in household life, but it becomes dangerous when it binds the soul to bodily identity. Śrīla Prabhupāda teaches that a devotee may live affectionately with wife and children while remaining inwardly fixed on Kṛṣṇa. Such affection is purified when it supports duty, spiritual education, and devotional service. Without that higher center, family affection can become a rope of material bondage.
Natural Affection Must Be Spiritually Guided
Household affection is not rejected simply because it is personal or emotional. A husband may naturally feel affection for his wife, and a devotee may speak kindly and responsibly within family life. The essential point is that such affection must be directed by dharma and Kṛṣṇa consciousness, not by uncontrolled desire.
- A husband naturally has some affection for his wife. Therefore Satyavati's mother thought that the oblation prepared for Satyavati by the sage Rcika must have been better than her own oblation.
- Although a devotee may enter family life and act very affectionately toward his wife and children, he is never attached to these activities.
- Although he (the great devotee of God) has no attraction for his children, he cares for them and educates them to become devotees. Similarly, he speaks to his wife with affectionate words, but he is not attached to her.
Attachment Turns Family Life Into Bondage
When affection is ruled by the senses, it pulls the living being deeper into material anxiety. Śrīla Prabhupāda shows that wife, children, home, money, and social duties can become ropes when they are pursued without spiritual purpose. In such a condition, the householder works hard day and night but forgets the aim of life.
- Driven by affection for his wife and children, a family man works day and night.
- Due to the continuance of his lusty desires, King Puranjana became very poor in everything. Thus he did not understand the aim of life. He was still very affectionate toward his wife and children, and he worried about maintaining them.
- If one prefers to remain in the dark well of household life because of uncontrolled senses he becomes increasingly entangled by ropes of affection for his wife, children, servants, house money. Such a person cannot attain liberation from material bondage.
- What person too attached to household life due to being unable to control his senses can liberate himself? An attached householder is bound very strongly by ropes of affection for his family (wife, children and other relatives).
Devotional Detachment Does Not Mean Neglect
True detachment does not require harshness toward family members. It means that affection is offered through responsibility, spiritual education, and service to Kṛṣṇa rather than through possessiveness. In this way the devotee can remain in family life without making the family the final object of love.
- For detachment from children, wife and home, it is not meant that one should have no feeling for these. They are natural objects of affection, but when they are not favorable to spiritual progress then one should not be attached to them.
- Everyone is affectionate toward his wife and is attached to her, but what is this wife? The wife is called stri, which means, "one who expands the material condition."
- One should gradually become detached from affection for his wife and children, exactly like a man awakening from a dream.
- [[Vaniquotes:When one is bound by affection for one's wife, one is attached to sexual desires that are very difficult to overcome. Therefore, according to Vedic civilization, one must voluntarily leave his so-called home and go to the forest. Pancasordhvam vanam vrajet|When one is bound by affection for one's wife, one is attached to sexual desires that are very difficult to overcome. Therefore, according to Vedic civilization, one must voluntarily leave his so-called home and go to the forest. Pancasordhvam vanam vrajet.]]
Higher Love Loosens Material Affection
Great devotees show that love for the Supreme Lord can overcome even deep-rooted family attachment. This is not emotional emptiness, but the awakening of a higher relationship. When Kṛṣṇa becomes the soul's shelter, wife, children, home, and prestige no longer control the heart.
- Caitanya Mahaprabhu's renunciation is unique. No one else could give up such a happy home, such honor, and such affection from mother, wife, friends, and students.
- If the Lord is pleased with a devotee, what is there that is unobtainable? Why should one not give up his affection for his wife and children and take shelter of the Supreme Personality of Godhead? Where is the loss of anything material.
- Maharaja Pariksit, as a result of his wholehearted attraction for Lord Krsna, was able to give up all deep-rooted affection for his personal body, his wife, his children, his palace etc.
- Sukadeva Gosvami said to Pariksit, "He (king Bharata) very easily gave up his lordship over the earthly planet and his affection for his children, society, friends, royal opulence and beautiful wife."
Conclusion
Affection for a wife becomes spiritually safe only when it is governed by devotion and detachment. The devotee does not need to become hard-hearted, but he must know that family affection is temporary unless it is connected to Kṛṣṇa. Śrīla Prabhupāda therefore teaches that real love does not bind the soul to household darkness; it helps every relationship move toward the Supreme Lord.
Dive Deeper into Śrīla Prabhupāda's Vani
Śrīla Prabhupāda lives within his instructions. This article is a summary of the profound truths found in the Vaniquotes category Affection for a Wife. We invite you to visit this link to study the complete compilation and experience Śrīla Prabhupāda's teachings in their direct, verbatim form.